Letters from HiZen (7)

Dear Child,

How are you? I hope you are doing all you can to adjust to all the Culture Rules you have been reading from my letters.

Culture rule 6 :- “Define the game and know its rules, if you want to play” must be making sense to you right now ?. It is a lot to take in, i understand completely.

This is the next and final culture rule:

Culture rule 7 :- “Check it again, you need to be sure”

As simple as this culture rule may sound, it is one of the most powerful culture rules of all. I take a lot of things for granted. Infact, i used to make fun of people who have a habit of cross checking things, such as their car engine oil, the house security, even the children in the bedroom. I didn’t realise that violating this law would cost me dearly one day.

That day was when the owner of the supermarket i worked in over 60 years ago asked me to make a presentation to a bunch of South African investors, who we wanted to become partners with the supermarket. They were well connected and very resourceful.

 Infact, their partnership would result in the supermarket having many branches all over South Africa. It was a huge responsibility and privilege.  I was given a full month to prepare for the presentation.

As i can recall what happened, my boss gave me some financial documents to give to the investors. This document contained profit statements for the past 10 years. This document was the selling point that i was to use to win the investors interest and business commitment.

The day of the presentation had arrived. It was to take place at the supermarket boardroom 9am prompt

I left the house at 7am with the intention of getting to the office as early as possible. I decided to take a short cut to beat the intending traffic that always builds up around 8am. The short cut had a lot of twists and turns; the road was very bumpy and the area was often isolated

As i drove through the short cut, my car climbed over a bunch of sharp edged rocks. All of a sudden, i heard a loud noise, i quickly stepped on the break and got out of the car to check what happened......... i had gotten a flat tyre

“O dear, O dear, not now, please not now”.  Those words raced through my mind as i quickly ran behind the car to open the boot and quickly get the spear tyre, only to be shocked again, there was no spear tyre.

I began to recall moments when my wife would remind me to get one each time i drove the car out. I recall getting a spear; i just could not remember where i had put it.

We didn’t have mobile phones in those days like you do now, so the option of calling the office was out of it. Furthermore, the short cut was isolated and not too many people would take it that early in the morning

It was already 8am and it seemed like i had only one option left. I had to run to the supermarket. If i start running now, it should take me about 45 minutes to get there. There was only one problem, the financial documents were also in the car, thus, running with them would slow me down; but i didn’t have a choice. I had to take the chance.

I left the car behind and ran with the documents under my arm pit as fast as i could, hoping by some miracle, i would get there on time.

Unfortunately, it took me longer that i had anticipated, I arrived at the office at 9.45 am. My clothes were stained with dirt and sweat. 

Dear Child, you should have seen the look on the faces of my colleagues as they watched me approach the boardroom; “YOU’RE IN TROUBLE” echoed in the air.

My boss had managed to keep the investors busy while everyone searched for me. They had even gone to my house, only to be told i had left since 7am.

I apologised profusely to the guests for my lateness and how i looked. I did my best to give a good presentation, but the financial documents were rough and stained with dirt. My boss had to show them the original document, which they all shared.

We had given them a good impression with the financial statements, but a bad impression with the kind of personnel the supermarket tolerated.

The supermarket got the deal, but i was suspended for 2 months without pay.

Dear Child, i assumed many things and it almost cost me my job. That experience got me the last letter, the letter N, which stands for Never Assume.

Letter ‘ N’ NEVER ASSUME

It is so risky to take things for granted, never taking the time to check on it again to be sure all is well and in place.

Culture rule 7:- Check it again, you need to be sure

So, i had gotten all the letters and their meaning

F:- Facts, not just Opinions; “ Make sure what you know is complete and correct”

A:- Ask the Right and Best Source; “If they don’t qualify, don’t pay any attention to them”

S: - See in Systems; “ Know the story behind the story”

T:- Think and Act the Best Way; “ Respond to the situation instead of reacting to it”

 I:- Inquire, Expect, Prepare, Move; “Define the Game and know its Rules, if you want to play it”

 N:- Never Assume; “ Check it again, you need to be sure”

I had discovered the Culture Matrix  ‘ FAST(IN) ‘ but i pronounced it ‘FASIN’. Each was gotten from the 1^st letter of every command. Observe it again ( F.A.S.T.I.N)

Dear Child, FAST(IN) was going to take me on the wildest adventure i could ever imagine. FAST(IN) existed everywhere; business, office work, marriage, relationships, parenting ,money, health, students, school..... the list goes on and on.

I will begin to explain it all in my next letter

Please meditate on what FAST(IN) stands for again, they are all very important. You will need to know them by heart if you want to use them.

Remember, your culture is everything

Love

HiZen

Letters from HiZen (6)

Dear Child,

The doctors said i am responding to the treatment. My vitals are improving much faster than they had expected. They believe it might because i now have a new focus in life; to tell you everything i know about the Culture Matrix, therefore my will to live is stronger  than before, thus, my body is responding to treatment.

That’s good news right?

Anyway, i hope you recall the previous Culture Rule 5: “You must respond to the situation, instead of reacting to it”.

Here is the Culture Rule 6:- “Define the Game and know its rules, if you want to play it”

It was a Friday evening, the traffic was terrible and it seemed like it was going to be a long night on the road before i got home.

I looked at the water radiator in the car and it showed signs that my car was going to overheat anytime soon, unless i parked somewhere for it to cool down.

Therefore, i decided to park the car at a road side motel and wait there until the traffic on the road reduces.

While i waited in the car, i noticed there was a bar within the motel compound, so i decided to go to the bar and wait there instead.

I sat down at the bar, ordered a drink and enjoyed the cool evening breeze. After a while, four people came to bar, ordered drinks and sat down by a table next to me. One of them was carrying a rectangular looking box. He opened it and began to put its content on the table. It was as if he was setting up a game, because the contents in the box were cards, a board, dice and some writing material.

I couldn’t help but notice how colourful the playing board looked and the facial expressions of the remaining three as they adjusted their seats while the game was being set up.

Once all was ready, he divided the playing cards equally, distributed the writing material and they began to play this awkward looking game.

They would laugh at different intervals and question each other’s moves. It all looked pretty interesting.

My curiosity got the better of me; i had to know more, so i turned my chair towards theirs and asked if i could watch them play

They were friendly and they asked if i wanted to play instead. I refused quite quickly, using the excuse of not knowing what the game is and its rules.

One of them offered to define the game and explain its rules to me. For the next 15 minutes, he told me what it was about and how it is to be played; the different approaches, strategies and techniques that existed and how i was to use them.

It seemed confusing at first and then it began to make sense. Once i had completed my crash course, it was time to test my wings; i was going to play the game with them.

I sat down with them and we played the first round. I was really nervous, because it seemed as if i didn’t know what i was doing even though everything had been explained to me.

I lost in the first, second, third and fourth round of the game. I was getting really frustrated, and then all of a sudden, one of the guys lost instead of me. I had finally begun to adjust to it. The feeling was good.

We played for almost 2 hours; this time however, i didn’t lose in any round. I was becoming really good at this. In fact, one of the guys said i have adjusted really quickly.

When it was almost 9pm, i had to call it quits. I told them it was getting late and the traffic would have cleared off by now. We shook hands and exchanged numbers, with the hope we will meet and play again.

As i drove the car home, i reflected on what just happened and tried to compare it with life.

LIFE IS A GAME WITH RULES

Life can be anything or anybody; business, people, school, relationships, politics, religion, families, organisations, sports and so on.  They each have their game and rules; if i want to play their game, i need to know what kind of game it is and the rules it follows.

It all seemed to make sense. If sports have rules, then everything else must have rules, thus,

1. What is the game in my business and what are its rules?

2. What is the game in my family and what are its rules?

3. What is the game in my career and what are its rules?

4. What is the game in my relationships and what are its rules?

If i had these answers, i would know what to expect, prepare for it and then play. Hmmmm, INQUIRE, EXPECT, PREPARE, MOVE. I had gotten the next letter

Letter ‘I’ : INQUIRE, EXPECT, PREPARE, MOVE

To succeed at anything, i need to: Define the Game and know its Rules, if i want to play it ”

Dear Child, whatever you choose to involve yourself in, please know this, it is a game with rules. Do all to know the game, what to expect from it, prepare and adjust quickly while playing.

I am sure a lot of successful people follow this rule and are not even aware of it.

All will be well, as you learn and adjust to these culture rules, you will begin to see what i mean.

In my next letter, i would tell you the final letter and how i got it to conclude the creation of the Culture Matrix

Remember, your culture is everything

Love

HiZen

Letters from HiZen (5)

Dear Child,

 I’m glad you are getting encouraged by the letters being sent to you.  I have tried to use the examples of my life to explain the culture matrix to you; it seems to be the best means for you to understand what i am saying.

Anyway, i hope you still recall the Culture Rule 4 from Letter (4), “Know the story behind the story”

It’s now time for me to explain the next one

Culture Rule 5: You must RESPOND to the situation, instead of REACTING to it

As you know by now, i can be every emotional. When bad things happen to me, i give into my emotions. Therefore, a lot of my friends, family relatives and colleagues from work, take advantage of me. It is as if they know how to “PUSH MY BUTTONS”. They purposely do things to get on my nerves and make fun of me when they see how i over react.

Furthermore, when bad situations occur at home or with my spouse, i simply give into my emotions. I complain and shout about it so much, i end up getting a headache, loss of appetite and terrible mood swing.

“Do i blow things out of proportion?” Am i the only one that feels this way?, what’s wrong with me? ;I need help, i need answers

One day, while i worked at the supermarket, we were told by the head of public relations that once a month, the supermarket would donate some goods to the less privileged in the “help house” located quite close to the central distribution centre of the supermarket, within the town.

They said they needed volunteers who would be in charge of this new project, i offered to join.

Two weeks later, we took some goods from the supermarket store, loaded it into the truck, and headed to the “help house”. There were five of us who volunteered to go

When we got to the “help house”, i was overwhelmed with what i saw. There were children playing in the field, where the help house was built. As we parked the truck, a certain man came to welcome us. He had a wonderful smile on his face as he shook our hands and hugged us.

He escorted us into the house, while young men found around were called to off load all what we had brought for them.

I couldn’t help but notice the clean environment and the smiles on the faces of all those who stayed in the help house.

I must confess, i was a little confused. I thought this place was supposed to be filled with people who needed aid and assistance; how can they be in need yet they looked happier than anyone i have ever meet?

The kids that were playing in the compound were called in, to thank us and show their appreciation. While the kids shook our hands, the man that welcomed us gave each of us a gift!. It was a handmade woven scarf.

I was shocked, we came here to give them things, yet, we were given things in return ?

We left the help house and returned to the supermarket. That night, while i laid down on my bed, i couldn’t help but think about what i experienced at the help house.

There is something they know that i don’t know, that is making them smile.

For the next two months, we followed the same routine, as we took things to the help house. Each time we brought things, the pattern of smiling and appreciation were repeated by the kids and the man, who welcomed us, every time we brought food items.

The next time we visited them,  i asked if i could see that man privately. He took me to the corner of one of the rooms and listened intently as i asked him“ Why do you smile so often?, i know the help house is constantly in need and totally dependent on what people bring here”

The man said that they are aware of how things are in the help house, they just don’t react to it, they respond. They don’t allow situations to determine how they feel, they respond in the best way possible to that situation

“The only way you can improve your circumstance, is simply to improve yourself. You can’t choose all your circumstances, but you can choose how you think and respond to them” he said. That statement hit me hard in the heart. Here is a man who was not in the best situation as regards life, but he approached life better than those of us who were better off than he was.

Then it occurred to me, “You must respond to your situation, and not react to it”. I must take the time to ensure good thoughts race through my mind, when things happen. Such thinking will allow me to know how to approach the situation in the best way.

I thanked him and wrote down what he said, but in my own words, “THINK AND ACT THE BEST WAY” by responding to the situation with good thoughts, and not reacting to it with my emotions, which is often full of bad thoughts. That is how i got the next letter for the culture matrix

The letter ‘T’, THINK AND ACT THE BEST WAY.

Dear child, this statement is so true. It took me some time to adjust to this culture, but i finally got it. My colleagues at work began to notice a change in me.  I responded to situations, instead of reacting to it. They even tried to “PUSH MY BUTTONS”, but noticed i was not the same man. I had changed.

The situations i faced were the same; however, the way i saw it was different. This mindset helped me to approach the situation in a way i could never have done, if my thoughts about it hadn’t changed.

“You must respond to the situation, instead of reacting to it”.

In my next letter, i would tell you how i got the next letter for the Culture Matrix

Remember, your culture is everything

Love

HiZen

Letters from HiZen (4)

Dear Child,

Culture Rule 3: If they don’t qualify, don’t pay any attention to them, must be making sense by now. I expect you to take and apply it, one step at a time.

The story behind the next culture rule is quite strange, but as i have expressed in all my letters, i have had good, bad and strange experiences during my life time.

Culture Rule 4: Know the story, behind the story

I got this rule from the life of my supervisor; he headed the purchases department of the supermarket i worked in over 60 years ago.

He was a very hard worker, and practically excelled at everything he did, except one; the way he behaved around people was questionable.

Almost every staff member i knew had something bad to say about him, how he talked and behaved. In fact, we all said he wasn’t a people person.

However, it never disturbed the performance of his duties. He would be the first to resume work, and the last to leave. Thus, management loved him; the fact that he wasn’t a people person didn’t bother our boss.

It seemed odd to me, how can a person be so hard working, but didn’t get along with people. Experience had taught me that it is very hard to live in this world, if you can’t get along with people. Who knows, maybe he needs help.

Anyway, I needed extra cash for that weekend so i asked my supervisor for a double shit, thus, i was to resume at 6.30am and close at 10pm.

It was tough, but I managed to pull it off.  Although I don’t recall the exact time we bumped into each other, all I know was, I needed to get some packages from the store and when I got there, i saw my supervisor trying to fix the door of the store.

I greeted him and asked if he needed any help. He said all was well and i left it at that. When i entered the store ( which was quite large by the way )to get what i wanted, i  heard a loud noise and then a scream coming from the store entrance, where my supervisor was.

I ran to the entrance and i noticed the door was closed and my supervisor was lying on the floor, holding his thumb quite tightly. When i asked what had happened, he said he unknowingly slammed the door on his thumb. In an attempt to remove it, he mistakenly broke the handle of the door.

In other words, my supervisor was injured, and we were both trapped in the store.

My child, it felt like being trapped with the devil in hell. The thoughts that raced through my mind were terrible, how on earth could this happen to me. We both shouted and banged on the door, hoping someone would come to the store upon hearing all the noise.

After 30 minutes of shouting and waiting, it was obvious we were going to be there for a while. I went over to the chocolate cookies section, took two packets and headed back to the store entrance. I handed my supervisor a packet as he looked up at me with the strangest expression you can imagine.

I said it would be better for us to make ourselves as comfortable as possible in here, until someone notices our absence and begin to look out for us.

Suddenly, my supervisor began to laugh, he laughed so loud and hard, that i too started laughing. I didn’t get what was hilarious, but i guess it must have been his way of making the most of the situation. I think we laughed for almost 30 minutes

I can’t explain how i got the boldness to ask my boss if he knew what people were saying about him and how i felt they were getting the wrong impression. I knew he had some good in him somewhere

His mood suddenly changed. He told me that he didn’t want to act that way, but he came from a family where the belief was; if you smile and play with people, they won’t respect you. So, he tried to live by that rule all his life

I was shocked and had to explain to him how incorrect that belief was, it didn’t work here at the supermarket. The way people are managed is never the same. Methods must change for everyone is different

While we talked, we suddenly heard someone passing by the store, so we banged on the door again, this time, we were heard. Within moments, a carpenter was brought there and the store door was opened.

That experience made me realise, there is always a story behind the story of people and events. Although my supervisor didn’t change overnight, but now i understood where he was coming from, and he had seen the consequences of his methods.

Everything has an origin, everything is connected to something else and everything can either have a positive or negative outcome.

We need to see people, things and events that way, thus, we need to SEE IN SYSTEMS.

So, i got the next letter ; ‘S’ SEE IN SYSTEMS

Dear Child, it simply means nothing just happens; there is always a story behind every story. If we take the time to find out what the story is, we will understand people and situations better, and not jump to unnecessary conclusions.

Also, whatever you do, there is a consequence, it is either positive or negative. Take the time to think about the consequence your decision could bring, before you finally go ahead and do it.

In my next letter, i would tell you how i got the next letter for the Culture Matrix

Remember, your culture is everything

Love.

 HiZen